Cheez-It Jealousy

So I wouldnt necessarily say that things have gotten better, but I guess you could say I've calmed down a bit, and find myself merely coasting along. Ive talked to a lot of people-PSDN members, other PCVs, friends from home, and family-and I am going to try to stick it out and stay in Botswana.

From what I gather from most of the people I've talked to here in Botswana, my-I feel lost, scared, confused, not used, and hating everything Botswana-feelings are very normal and unfortunately won't go away for quite awhile. Most of the current volunteers have said they really didnt feel comfortable here or really got into their projects until over a year. And while I'm glad to hear my feelings are normal and will pass; I'm definitely dreading the fact that this may take an entire year before feeling ok with being here. I know I'll highs and lows, but let me just tell you-those lows are one heck of a slap in the face.

Today, starts a new week, and I'm feeling slightly more motivated to actually get out! Before I got out of bed this morning, I asked God just to help me through today; to guide me in the right direction; and for just ONE ounce of motivation to get out of my bed. And overall...today has been a good day.

While in the office this morning, a young woman came in to drop off some papers; and I found out she was the chair person of Le Rona Re Teng--the organization involved in working with People living with disabilties (PLWDs). (On a side note, I found out earlier that this group was still very much so in it's elementary stages of growth, met only when matters rose, and the chair person recently found herself very busy with a new job.) I spoke with her a bit and found out the organizations next step forward would be to find a meeting place and open a bank account. (Another side note-another PCV, who lives about 45 min from me has been working on several projects related to PLWDs and one of the projects is aimed at grassroot organizations like Le Rona Re Teng, in helping them build a solid foundation for establishment.) I mentioned this project to the chair person today, and she thought it was definitely something they would be interested in and she had heard that I was very interested in working with them as well and hoped to move forward together!

So not only did a great opportunity finally walk through my door today, but I also received my 3rd package!! I had gotten an awesome package from my brother on Friday-that included Cheez-its-which I had been wishing I could snack on a few weeks ago. (And when I rubbed it in to one of my friends here that I was "off to go eat cheez-its," she texted me the next morning with: "Thanks to you I had a dream I was walking through a grocery store back home and there were cheez-its on the shelf but I couldnt reach them, more like a nightmare." Ha. Thats right. Be Jealous of my Cheez-Itz.) And then I received yet ANOTHER great package today from Ms. Laura Brady-with more goodies and thoughtfulness from home!

Along with motivation to get out of my house...I also received some suggested interview questions from another volunteer. I looked over the questions and I think they will definitely help. Now...I just need to go DO, DO, DO, DO! And hopefully as I do, do, do, do...something will catch my eye and hopefully I can start filling in those god awful questions lingering over me. Yea, you know which ones I'm talking about. "WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING HERE??? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING HERE????" Yea those ones...

AND on a happy note...you're seeing this post, because I have INTERNET in the comfort of my own HOME!!! Skype dates are available upon request, just remember I'm 6hours ahead of east coast time+9 for those of you out on the west coast. Im glad I'll be able to answer emails, Skpe, finally be able to see whats going on in the news (not having a TV and having a newspaper that only pertains to Botswana-seriously, they didnt even put that Spain won the World Cup in their sports section-has me craving for what else is going on in the world), and getting my fill of facebook stalking.

Lastly, I technically posted 2 blogs today-as the one below this-is an article featured in the newspaper, after we were sworn in. And to those who may not have seen them yet, here is a link to my pictures on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2386294&id=7813917&l=c08061b274