I have just about a week left in Botswana. Who knew this day would actually come. I remember sitting on the airplane, having just landed in Botswana. And someone in our group said just imagine…in 2 years we’ll be sitting on a plane again as RPCVs. And here I am just 8 days away from RPCV status!
I’ve said a lot of goodbyes and I’ve started to pack my
house up. Yesterday I was outside playing volleyball with some of the kids in
my housing block and I was trying to explain to them that I was leaving. They
said ok and continued playing with me. They wanted to play again this morning
but I told them I needed to clean and pack. A few of them questioned why I was
packing. I tried to explain again…that I was leaving and would no longer be
living here. I’m sure I’ll explain it several more times; but I have a feeling
that not a single one of them understands that I am leaving and will most
likely never see them again.
On my last day in the office, I was asked to prepare and
make a presentation at a peer education stakeholders workshop. I was asked to
present on all the programs I was doing in schools. I was actually pretty
nervous about this presentation, even though I am not sure why. I talked about
my role in the abstinence clubs, STEPs screenings and the two life skills
workshops. Afterwards, the head guidance teacher from one of the schools gave
me a vote of thanks. She told me she appreciated everything I had done for her students
and the school. She told me that in 2010 there were 7 teenage pregnancies; 2011
there were none; and in 2012 only one so far. She told me I was responsible for
those low numbers. Wow. What an unbelievable thing for her to say to me. What a
rare opportunity for me to hear the impact that I’ve had on my community.
Last Friday, my students at Tlokweng JSS had a goodbye
program for me. Our last meeting had been postponed because they told me they
were not ready for me and wanted the program to be perfect! Ha. I could tell
they were working hard and they were beginning to make me nervous for what they
were up to! After waiting patiently for about an hour and a half; my students
finally came to get me and told they were ready for me! I walked into the hall
and all my students stood and clapped for me. So cute! Several students got up
to give speeches of thanks and goodbye. And two of my students got up and sang
acapella! They were absolutely beautiful! They asked me to play one more game
with them; and to give a speech as well. I told them all that I had loved my
time with them and couldn’t believe our time was up. But I told them I only
hoped for good things to come for each and every one of them. And that perhaps
someday they might come to the US to study! At the end of the program, students
had chipped in money to buy some snacks. So we enjoyed some juice and sweets;
while they also gave me a present! They made me a vase out of paper mache and
put these painted spikey plants inside. Ha. I explained to them that I could
take the vase but the plant would not be able to come on the plane with me.
They were a bit disappointed but I shared them with the co-facilitator (who was
more than happy to take them!). I later came home to find that the vase was
filled with my favorite sweets-Endearmints!! They are kind of like mint mentos.
So good!! The vase is pretty big…so packing it should be interesting!
I walked around a bit on Monday morning this week; saying
farewell to several NGOs and schools that Ive worked with. I went over to SOS
and even found myself tearing up when I was hugging a wonderful teacher
goodbye. She’s worked there for over 24 years and seen volunteers come and go.
She has always been so nice to me. Part of me wished I had done more with SOS
in my 2nd year but thank them for being somewhat of a savior to me
during my first few months at site. Being able to go spend time with those kids
is exactly what I needed back then.
Even though I find myself going through the movements; it
feels so weird to be packing, cleaning, taking cards and pictures off my walls,
and saying goodbyes. The goodbyes feel more like “see you later” even though
the reality is that I probably won’t see a lot of these people again. I find
myself somewhat stressed over all the things that need to get done. Medical
appointments, closing bank and internet accounts, housing inspections, getting
my water turned off, selling some items, donating some items, and figuring out
what I want to take home. Eish. Part of me just wants it to hurry up and be
June 6th. By that time, my bags will be packed and I’ll just need to
have one final meeting at PC. Then I can actually begin to let reality set in
that I am in fact leaving.
I have to admit, I’m actually pretty nervous about coming
home. Despite my countdowns and dreams of FOOD; I worry what how I will
acclimate to being home. I try not to stress about those things; as I really
wont know what to expect until I am home. I heard of “reverse” culture shock
experienced by RPCVs and can only hope that mine won’t be too terrible. But
nonetheless, Im sure I’ll adapt and change in time; just as I did when I first
got to Botswana.
Some people have asked me how I’ve changed. I find it to be
an odd and somewhat difficult question; but I understand why people ask it. I
mean I did after all…embark on this “life changing” experience. So naturally
people want to know how it changed me. My answer: I’m not really sure yet. I
have a feeling I may have a better answer for you; once I have been at home for
a while. I will say however, that I have
definitely learned some things about myself. Some qualities were made a bit
clearer. And others were lets say…enhanced. Not all things I discovered about
myself were necessarily good; but the important thing is that I got a better
picture of who I am and what makes me…ME. I feel like a much more confident
individual. Even though I still hate public speaking; I’ve gotten better at it
and feel (somewhat) more at ease in front of an audience. I realized how I
handle stress and the toll it can take on me physically. I feel very
independent.
Im sad to that this adventure is coming to an end; but Im
incredibly excited for the next phase in my life! Grad school! I know I’ve said
it before; but my time in Botswana has made me even more excited to get back to
grad school to finally become an OT! Ive missed that kind of work tremendously
and am anxious to be back.
Lastly, I wanted to thank you all for supporting me; for
keeping in touch with me; for sending me letters and packages; and for
following my blog. You have no idea how much it means to me. Even in a time
where our world seems to be getting smaller; there were times in the past two
years when I felt as though we were worlds apart. Thanks for following my
adventure and I look forward to seeing you all soon!!
Just a heads up--I'll be closing out my internet account tomorrow; and may only have internet when I go to a cafe or something. I'll try and check my email 1-2 more times; but otherwise the next time you'll be hearing from me is through the phone or in person!!
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